Impossible Is Nothing

"Your daughter is an impossible case!" muttered the 80 year old match-maker to my mom.


My "impossibility" was that I had a list of things I was looking for in the guy I wanted to marry. Apparently being well-educated, financially secure, well-mannered, sincere, honest, genuine, able to handle marriage and its responsibilities, and having integrity was asking too much of a guy--and inadvertently cast me as the "impossible" 30 year old. Looking for someone belonging to a decent family background with good Islamic and moral values was too high of an expectation. Wanting someone who is not a hypocrite and a liar, and hasn't been previously married merited as ''extremely high standards''.


Now, there is a serious flaw in all this: #1. I'm not impossible and #2. Never take advice from an 80 year old. Especially that 80 year old who has nothing better to do in life except bestow upon himself the notion that the rest of his living days should be spent in the confines of his house taking calls from random no-bodys and then proceeding to convince others that the proposal being suggested is absolutely perfect for their son or daughter. Apart from this, the only other activity left is to dunk his dentures in a glass of water.

My list, I was told, was nothing but a fantasy, and I'm destined for spinsterhood. It's impossible to find a guy these days with even ONE of the things in the list, said the geezer.


Well, let's take a look at what the guys want: beautiful, loving, caring, confident, good sense of humor, keen interest in family, understanding, compromising, be there through the highs and lows, traditional but knows how to have fun (what in the world does that mean by the way?!!), accepting of his imperfections, adapt to his family, loyal, compassionate, intelligent, religious, share his interests and passions, pretty eyes, pretty smile, honest, reliable, educated, and trustworthy. And these are just some of the items from their list.....so now who is asking for too much?


Truth is there are no impossibilities in this world. Anything is possible. What is needed, actually, is a firm belief in self and in God. A conviction that despite the odds, despite the turn-downs, despite the wretched bitterness that people love to shove in your face, despite the defeatist attitude of our society, despite the put-offs, despite the disappointments, despite the tough luck, despite the bad luck, despite the feeling of hopelessness at times, despite the feeling that life isn't giving you a break, despite the feeling that God isn't listening, despite the feeling that nothing is working in your favor, despite ALL THIS----things will look up and the day will shine brighter. The moment will come when everything you've been hoping for will suddenly wrap you up in its grip and remind you that you really do deserve all this and much more.....it was just a matter of time. 

Boys And Their Girls

Shoaib Malik's nikah to Sania Mirza is nothing but a publicity stunt. The kid craves attention and can't get enough of it! I strongly believe he enjoyed every moment he duked out with Aisha---anything for those infamous 15 minutes! He thoroughly loved how the media kept track of his every move---from the shopping spree he took Sania on to the rebuttal demanded of him when Aisha said she aborted his baby to the confiscation of his passport---he lapped it up every bit! Whatever could drag him into the spotlight was fair game for him----the phone chat on Sania's terrace (he could've talked on his cell in any part of the house!...but he chose the terrace) knowing full well the paparazzi was filming every second of it. Days later, he comes out and demands privacy----c'mon Shabby....you know you're loving it!!

And then there's Adnan Sami Khan's wedding with Roya---not a publicity stunt, but a booty call. Of course, it won't last only the weekend as most booty calls do....this one will go the ride. In the mean time we all know Adnan's rejuvenated body, after losing a 150kg from his original weight of 240kg, has brought not only a spring in his step, but re-charged the batteries in places that have been waiting impatiently for some serious action!

On A Lighter Note

So now that my friends think I'm getting too serious with my writing--I've decided to ''lay low'' and chill out for a while.

But, if anyone knows me, they'll tell you that "laying low" isn't that easy for me. Anyways, this time I think I'll have to chill out because some things are on my mind---and I'm really not in the mood to reflect on society and its ills---but want to reflect on what's going on with my life.

Don't worry, I'm not going through a mid-life crisis. And even if I were, I wouldn't be sitting here typing--I'd be some place having a shit fit.

So lately, the scene swirling around in my life is my shaadi. Word has it that I'm getting old (didn't know it was that bad....I thought 30 was ok) and soon to join the ranks of expired canned food---well at least that's how it's being described to me if I don't get married soon. Supposedly, you hit a certain age, like an expiry date, and BAAM!!! you're automatically taken off the shelf. Wasn't aware I was a product.

Truth is, I never paid much attention to my age and the stories that accompany it. It has and always will be just a number to me. I don't feel it and never have. I have a bunch of friends who are flipping out over the big 30......still don't get what they're exactly whining about.

So I'll cut to the chase. After meeting all kinds of guys---the guy who walked in with his mud drenched Nikes and ruined our carpet; the 5'5'' guy who came with his mom and proceeded to gossip and back-bite about some people I work with, and also later informed me that he hasn't figured out why people in America say "Yup"; then there was the guy who was polite and good looking but totally under his mom's control (he later told the auntie who introduced them to us that he wished his mom would have said yes); to the guy who put everything on his plate and nibbled some of it and ended up wasting all the food and later on interviewed me as if I was applying for my post-graduate residency; to finally the guy who sent me his picture via email and wrote that he was "balled" and not "bald"-------after meeting them and so many more, I've reached my grand conclusion: Because they haven't figured themselves out yet, therefore they don't have a clue about what they want. As a result, they go around looking for girls from one house to the next---aimlessly wandering and all the while asserting that they just can't seem to find "the one". They'll never find "the one" because they don't know what it means and what it takes to find "the one"!!!

I was beginning to think the problem was with me---but now I've realized that I could do a million things to fulfill their criteria and still not make the cut, because these boys and their moms will never be satisfied. Finding a rishta in our society has become nothing more than a cup of afternoon tea. I could be 24 right now, and they'd still find something wrong with me. And if they are looking for the epitome of beauty to be reflected in my face, then here's the deal you retards: Are you the hunk I dream about? Are you Tom Cruise, Daniel Craig, James Martin, Roger Federer, Fawad Khan, Humayun Saeed, Wajahat Khan, Leonardo Di Caprio, George Clooney, or Colin Farrell??....I didn't think so!

AZM-E-ALISHAAN

No flour
No rice
No sugar
No electricity
No water
No gas
No education
No healthcare
No jobs

Today is Pakistan Resolution Day.

While most networks opted to show song & dance performances all day----none of these sissy dancers can help us escape the plague that has stricken this country.

The only thought provoking message was by Anwar Maqsood and his play entitled ''32 March''.

But, I guess, that's the nexus of all our problems---we've stopped thinking. We've stopped realizing that we can do something.We've stopped raising our voices against this decrepit situation that is turning itself in to king cobra preparing to swallow us whole.

But, as this cobra is rearing its head--there is still time. Time to evoke our thougths and turn them into actions.

ZINDAGI

Bar tar az andesha-e-sood-O-ziyaan hay Zindagi

Hay kabhi Jaan aur kabhi tasleem-e-jaan hay Zindagi

Tu issay Paimaana-e-Imroz-O-fardaa say naa naap

Javedaan, Pehamm dawaan, Har damm jawaan hay Zindagi

Apni dunyaa aap peda kar agar zindoun main hey

Siir-e-Adam hay, zameer-e-kun fikaan hay Zindagi

Zindagaani ki haqeeqat Koh-kunn kay dil say pooch

Joo-e-sher-O-teesha-O-sang-e-giraan hay Zindagi

Bandagi main ghatt kay reh jaati hay ik joo-e-kamm aab

aur aazaadi main behr-e-bay karaan hay Zindagi

Aashkaaraa hay yeh apni quwwat-e-taskheer say

garchay ik mitti kay paikar main nihaan hay Zindagi

Qulzum-e-Hasti say Ubhraa hay tu maanind-e-Hubaab

Iss ziyaan khaanay main teraa imtehaan hay Zindagi

 

Ho sadaqat kay liyeh jiss dill main marnay ki tarrap

Pehlay apnay paikar-e-khaaki main jaan paidaa karay

Phoonk daalay yeh zameen-O-aasmaan paida karay

Aur khaakistar say aap apna jahaan paida karay

Zindagi ki quwwat-e-pinhaan ko kar day aashkaar

Taa yeh chingaari farogh-e-javedaan paida karay

Khaak-e-mashriq par chamak jaaey misaal-e-aaftaab

Taa bidakhshaan phir wohi La'al-e-giraan paida karay

Soe-e-girdoon naala-e-shabgeer kaa bhaijay safeer

Raat kay taaroun main apnay raazdaan paida karay

Yeh Gharri Mehshar kee hay tu arsa-e-mehshar main hay

Paish kar ghaafil, Amal koie agar daftar main hay

--Allama Iqbal

2010: 3 and Counting.........

The massacre on Monday and yesterday's twin bombings compel me one more time to wonder when this atrocious insanity will end.

While our lives are at risk and our children die everyday, the VIPs continue to pump up their security and enshrine themselves in their bullet-proof kingdoms.

As the Khadim-e-Punjab walks the halls of General Hospital show-casing his fake sympathies, I wonder why no one stops and asks him ''What use are you? What have you done to stop this? Stop telling us that you condemn these attacks. DO SOMETHING!"

While these weasels, who claim to be paragons of  democratic leadership, spend millions on lavish dinner parties and fornication of every kind imaginable, not a single penny is spent on providing a reasonable standard of health care, education, and utilities for the awaam. Job opportunities are becoming scarce...and even if something does appear on the employment horizon, it's immediately grabbed by someone who isn't qualified, has connections with the higher-ups, and is willing to rub his nose in the dirt for as long as his master commands. 'You scratch my back, and I'll scratch yours' is the mantra.

The law that is being implemented in the name of "democracy" is based on the ideals of stealing, raping, and maiming this country. If the poor man becomes poorer and dies---who cares!...at least Fehmida Mirza was able to put new tires, worth Rs. 1,000,000, on her car .

"Good governance" (a term that even Firdous Ashiq Awan has learned to say in English) is spiked with corruption and deceit.

The country may not have collapsed yet, but it is most definitely crippled.

As the streets of Lahore bleed, the betrayal deepens. Our leaders have openly expressed their willingness to betray us, their own people, for the green colored paper that finds its way to their pockets. The sight and touch of it is ever more appeasing for the men in Islamabad, clad in their Armani suits and faggoty ties. Such is the power of lucre.

These bombings can stop and will stop. They will stop the day we unite. The day we stop fighting one another and realize that the real enemies are the thieves disguised as our leaders with their tentacles tightening their grip on our necks. The day we demand these wolves cough up and return the money they've looted from the country's treasury. The day our puppet leaders are ousted and accountability reigns as the only law.  The day we rise together and say "No more!"

The President, The Baby, and Rs. 500,000

No, this isn't a case of who came first.

This is a case of what money means to people, the integrity (read: lack of integrity) of a country's President, and a baby who couldn't wait to see the world.

Zardari brought traffic to a standstill several days ago just so he could fly by everyone on his way to the airport. But, things weren't so "still"....at least not inside the rickshaw that was taking a woman in labour to the nearest hospital. Her water broke and she needed to deliver this baby FAST! But, Zardari had to get to the airport FASTER!!

Not quite sure who made it first....but suffice it to say the woman ended up delivering her baby inside the rickshaw as Zardari whizzed past them. The traffic jam, the President created with his envoy, brought on a medical emergency that could have ended for the worst.

The baby pushed his way into the world and wasn't in any mood to wait till they got to the hospital. But then again, Zardari wasn't in any mood to wait around in traffic. Talk about impatience! But, who was justified?

Upon hearing that a baby was delivered in the traffic jam, the President smiled one of his usual weasel smiles and announced Rs. 500,000 be given as a gift to the baby.

That's it? Just 500,000 rupees? And what about the other people? Especially the ones who get stuck in traffic for VIPs and are experiencing a heart attack or any other similar medical emergency? What about them? Shouldn't they get this kind of monetary compensation too? And by the way, has the woman actually gotten the Rs. 500,000? Is it in her possession at this time?

What I would really like to know is, is this the kind of leadership a country's President should have? Being indifferent to people's needs and realizing only when something cataclysmic happens. And for your information, Mr. President, people aren't sitting around waiting for you to throw your money at them. What was really needed was if you had left with enough time and driven through traffic like everyone else. Your overwhelming concern for your own life and safety turns this entire situation into a paradox, when you're face to face with a woman who is delivering a baby on the street. What about their lives? Their safety? So, essentially your half-hearted attempt of altruism...was just that---half-hearted! How do you justify yourself as a President of a country who ensures that extreme measures are taken for his own safety, while the safety of the public is obliterated. And throwing a couple hundred thousand rupees around isn't going to compensate for a single damn thing!

Animals That Rule The Land--Part II

Animals That Rule The Land

J.D. SALINGER

May you rest in peace Mr. J.D. Salinger.
1919-2010

Thank you God For My Hands

Yesterday was a beautiful winter day in Lahore. The sun was out, 70 F, with a slight cold breeze, but the sun cut through it and warmed up the day nicely. Driving in and out of the maniacal Lahori traffic brought me to my mom's alma mater. It's an amazing campus, and every time I visit, I fall in love with it all over again. The landscaping is alluring and the vastness of the campus is astounding. And so, just like me, the Ravians were out soaking up the sun's rays. It was a great day to be out! And what better place to enjoy it than amidst the towering palm trees and blooming seasonal flowers that beckoned one and all to sit, take a load off, breathe, and just take it easy for a moment and smile at how great this day is. My dad had a meeting to attend, and I gladly agreed to wait outside.

Every student was so at ease in this environment......faces beaming and proud to be Ravian. Everyone was busy going their way. There was a special calm about the place that was charming. And it's always like this whenever I visit. The campus always has this picture-perfectness about it. And it was right then that I spotted her. Among all the trendy dressed students, she was no different. Wearing a blue shalwar kameez with striped sweater and blue dupatta. Her hair medium length. She was in a hurry. Her heavy bag seemed to be slowing her down, but she was determined to make it to class on time. Her friends---2 girls and 2 boys, were busy revising the lecture they attended the day before. Someone asked the time, and she pulled up her sleeve to check her watch. "11:15", she said. She wore her watch on her left arm.....that arm had a hand with a thumb and one finger. Her right hand was also not completely formed. She had a congenital deformity of both her hands known as radial clubhand. It wasn't something out of the ordinary for me to see. My profession entails all this. However, what struck me was how well she fitted in with all the other students. She was, like a majority of physically challenged individuals, very confident and not conscious of her disability. Except for her hands, she was just like every other girl, every other student, every other Ravian. 

But, what I mostly realized were my hands. And the next thing that came to mind was how grateful I should be for this blessing. Just being grateful for this alone should wipe away all the moments of anguish I feel when things aren't working out the way I want them to. If God isn't bestowing upon me these things, then who cares?!......at least I have my hands!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hands that put food in my mouth, comb my hair, and put clothes on me. Everything we are and do is because of our hands, and never once do we stop to realize how easily our tasks are accomplished. So, thank you God. I have felt angry and upset one too many times when I don't get things I had planned and hoped for. But, really, all of my frustration and anger is futile and meaningless in face of this immense blessing---hands.