On A Lighter Note

So now that my friends think I'm getting too serious with my writing--I've decided to ''lay low'' and chill out for a while.

But, if anyone knows me, they'll tell you that "laying low" isn't that easy for me. Anyways, this time I think I'll have to chill out because some things are on my mind---and I'm really not in the mood to reflect on society and its ills---but want to reflect on what's going on with my life.

Don't worry, I'm not going through a mid-life crisis. And even if I were, I wouldn't be sitting here typing--I'd be some place having a shit fit.

So lately, the scene swirling around in my life is my shaadi. Word has it that I'm getting old (didn't know it was that bad....I thought 30 was ok) and soon to join the ranks of expired canned food---well at least that's how it's being described to me if I don't get married soon. Supposedly, you hit a certain age, like an expiry date, and BAAM!!! you're automatically taken off the shelf. Wasn't aware I was a product.

Truth is, I never paid much attention to my age and the stories that accompany it. It has and always will be just a number to me. I don't feel it and never have. I have a bunch of friends who are flipping out over the big 30......still don't get what they're exactly whining about.

So I'll cut to the chase. After meeting all kinds of guys---the guy who walked in with his mud drenched Nikes and ruined our carpet; the 5'5'' guy who came with his mom and proceeded to gossip and back-bite about some people I work with, and also later informed me that he hasn't figured out why people in America say "Yup"; then there was the guy who was polite and good looking but totally under his mom's control (he later told the auntie who introduced them to us that he wished his mom would have said yes); to the guy who put everything on his plate and nibbled some of it and ended up wasting all the food and later on interviewed me as if I was applying for my post-graduate residency; to finally the guy who sent me his picture via email and wrote that he was "balled" and not "bald"-------after meeting them and so many more, I've reached my grand conclusion: Because they haven't figured themselves out yet, therefore they don't have a clue about what they want. As a result, they go around looking for girls from one house to the next---aimlessly wandering and all the while asserting that they just can't seem to find "the one". They'll never find "the one" because they don't know what it means and what it takes to find "the one"!!!

I was beginning to think the problem was with me---but now I've realized that I could do a million things to fulfill their criteria and still not make the cut, because these boys and their moms will never be satisfied. Finding a rishta in our society has become nothing more than a cup of afternoon tea. I could be 24 right now, and they'd still find something wrong with me. And if they are looking for the epitome of beauty to be reflected in my face, then here's the deal you retards: Are you the hunk I dream about? Are you Tom Cruise, Daniel Craig, James Martin, Roger Federer, Fawad Khan, Humayun Saeed, Wajahat Khan, Leonardo Di Caprio, George Clooney, or Colin Farrell??....I didn't think so!